Paper Present
by clandestine7
Summary: [HaruRin] Back before Rin left for Australia, he mentioned once what he wanted for his birthday. Haruka never forgot, and now, years later and after everything they've been through, he gives Rin that very thing.


**A/N:** Just schlepping another thing over from AO3 that I did for Rin's birthday. Another fluffy silly thing but also Haruka is being a secret romantic, aw. And now I can finally focus the majority of my attention back to Long Distance!

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_Paper Present_

* * *

Haruka feels a little bit ridiculous, even though he knows he shouldn't because the card is in his pocket, in a little tin container, completely unseen. But he knows he'll have to take it out to give it to Rin, and he hopes Rin will understand what it means.

Hopes Rin will remember, because what will it look like if Haruka remembers something about Rin that Rin's forgotten? Just the thought makes him feel awkward, vulnerable. He isn't good with these kinds of feelings and this thing he has with Rin is still so new – they're more wrong-footed than right most of the time, and when Rin had kissed him two days ago Haruka had recoiled out of shock.

It had been his first kiss, he'd realized, after he'd stumbled over the most graceless apology he'd ever given and let Rin try again. And then Rin had claimed his second kiss. And his third. And then he'd lost count.

But more so than Rin's lips on his, he remembers Rin's hands shaking against his arms. A knotted feeling rises in his chest. Sore. Tender. He can't tell if he likes the feeling or hates it, only that as he stares down at the plate he's washing from last night's dinner, the frown on his face seems like it could turn into a smile, maybe.

That still doesn't make the feeling particularly comfortable, but he knows that trying to think of something else won't make it go away because Rin will be arriving any minute now.

_"Mom and Gou say I have to be home for dinner 'cause they're making me something special,"_he had told Haruka, not long after the kiss, the smile on his face somewhere between awkward and elated and the TV in the background forgotten, _"but we can get lunch or something, if you want."_

Haruka had wanted to. He still does – he always wants to see Rin these days, and it's almost frightening how unlike himself he feels, how…

_Whipped_, supplies a voice in his head that sounds very much like Rin's, and the doorbell rings with perfect timing.

"Hey," Rin says, a bit breathlessly and with a smile he looks like he's trying to contain, when Haruka opens the door.

"Hi."

"You ready?"

"I was doing the dishes."

He doesn't know why he says it. He'd much rather leave with Rin than finish them, but the tin in his pocket feels suddenly heavier and nervousness overcomes him.

Rin rolls his eyes, leans against the doorframe. "You can do them later. Stop being so obsessive."

"You organize your textbooks by size," Haruka shoots back, because no matter what they are or how many times they've kissed, anything between them can be turned into competition.

Rin lets out an antagonized huff, takes Haruka's shoulders, and turns him around.

"Get your coat. We're going."

Haruka gets his coat, and a scarf to boot – the one Rin bought him for Christmas, white with a patchwork fish stitched onto each end. _"To match your lame gloves," _Rin had told him, face a little red when Haruka had opened the box, though that had been nothing compared to his face after Nagisa had pointed out that they were standing beneath some mistletoe. Looking back now, Haruka can't believe he was so oblivious as to what Rin bolting away from him – face as bright as one of the ornaments on the Matsuoka family tree – had meant.

Today, snow is thick on the ground but the sky's clear and the sun's shining bright enough, so Haruka doesn't wear the gloves. When they walk, they walk close, arms sometimes brushing. Haruka's afraid their hands will brush too, and doesn't know what he'd be expected to do then. Would it be intentional? Would Rin want him to grab hold? Would it be an accident? Just thinking about it is stressful.

But all crises are averted, and Rin soon leads them into a little shop where they no longer have to walk side by side. Haruka hangs a bit back like a shadow, knows he probably doesn't look too interested in being there, though in reality he enjoys watching Rin peruse around. Rin bites his lip as he sifts through racks, lifts his eyebrows every time he sees something worth taking a look at, and Haruka is more in awe of the way Rin's face moves than of the things Rin thinks about wearing.

"Which do you think's better?" Rin asks at one point, showing him two thin leather bracelets, both shades of tan. Haruka thinks they look practically the same, but Rin is always able to pick out the differences in his swimsuits, so he tries to be of use.

"The lighter one. I don't think you have one that color."

Rin has so many bracelets that he can't be sure he's right, but the smile Rin gives him makes him think he is. Rin ends up putting both bracelets back on the display, though, saying he doesn't actually need anything, and takes Haruka's wrist just long enough to tug him toward the exit. Haruka is about to offer to buy one, but remembers Rin wouldn't want that.

_"Don't get me anything,"_ Rin had said those two days ago, on the doorstep and about to leave. His cheeks had been red, and Haruka's lips had felt a bit puffy, and neither had been because of the cold. _"I don't need anything. I just wanna see you." _

But there was no way for Haruka to un-get what he had already gotten long before then, a little rectangle of stiff paper costing more than he would have ever expected. Yet the cost isn't the point of it. The point is that Rin won't laugh in his face when he sees it.

His hand flits to his pocket, and he hesitates. Not yet. Later.

He wonders if Rin is actually enjoying himself, if just walking around town with him is really enough to make Rin happy. He knows he isn't the most interesting company, never has ideas for things to do, never is the one to start their conversations. But Rin grins and talks, pesters him and goads him and touches him – a hand on his arm, a nudge with an elbow, a slap on the back – and gets him talking and pestering and even grinning right back.

And every once in a while he'll catch Rin in a moment of quiet, glancing at him only to look away when their eyes meet. The sentiment he thinks he sees on Rin's face in those moments is one of complete contentment. Which is amazing to him, to think he can be the cause of that.

For lunch Rin leads them into a tiny burger joint not far from the stony waters of the bay. He's trying to convince Haruka that in Canada people often swim in frozen lakes during the winter, and Haruka doesn't even know how the conversation came up.

"How do you swim in a frozen lake?" Haruka asks, as warmth tingles through him and the smell of food makes him aware of how hungry he is.

"You cut a hole in the ice. _Obviously._"

"And that's easy enough that Canadians do it all the time?" Haruka is unconvinced, and scans through the menu above the main counter. His eyes catch on the 'Iwatobi Special Burger' at the bottom of the list, and then widen when he reads the description. "They have a fish burger," he says in awe, and glances over at Rin.

"Figured that'd get your attention," Rin says, looking pleased with himself.

"Are you going to get it?"

"Are you kidding? I'll let you deal with the weird stuff."

"Hm," Haruka hums, looking back at the menu. "You should try it. Fish is good for you."

"Fried and in a burger? You're gonna have to try harder than that to change my diet."

After they order, they take seats next to a window. Haruka takes off his scarf and puts it on the table, watches Rin's fingers start fiddling with the ends. Now might be a good time, when they're sitting still and waiting for food, to give Rin his present. It could also be a horrible time, because he couldn't just get up and leave if Rin ends up disappointed.

"So I caught Gou trying to sneak and enormous box into her room without me seeing this morning," Rin says, and quirks an eyebrow at Haruka. "What do you think?"

"How big was the box?"

"Like…half as tall as me. It was square."

"A lot of swimsuits."

Rin kicks Haruka lightly in the shin, more a nudge than anything else. "Stop being an idiot. I seriously have no idea what it could be."

"How am I supposed to know? She's your sister." And if her present is as big as the box Rin is describing, Haruka's gift is going to seem pretty dinky in comparison.

Rin sighs. "Shit, where the hell am I supposed to put something that big?" he says, dropping his chin into his palm. "And I told her not to get me anything, too."

"Why?"

"Why did I ask her not to get me anything?"

"Yeah. Why aren't you asking for things? You like things."

Rin lets out a quiet laugh, shrugs. "Dunno. Turning a new leaf. Becoming a better person."

Their burgers arrive before Haruka can say anything about that. Rin starts smothering his patty in ketchup and mayonnaise, even sticks a few fries in there – "One of the only worthwhile things I learned in Australia. The kid who showed it to me was American, though…"

He ignores the look of askance of Haruka's face and starts on his lunch. He sighs loudly, though, when the insides of his burger slip out onto the plate. "God dammit," he says, sounding as though he had been expecting it to happen.

"You should've gotten fish," Haruka says, and when he takes a bit of his burger everything stays neatly in place.

Rin ignores him, begins working on stuffing everything back together. His fingers are soon covered in sauce, and Haruka can't help the small smile of exasperation that takes to his lip as he watches. He tries to hide it, though, as he eats.

"Haru," Rin says, when his burger is reassembled and his plate looks like a war zone. "Can you put this piece of hair behind my ear?"

"What?"

"This piece of hair," Rin says, going cross-eyed for a moment as he stares at the bit that always hangs in front of his nose. "Put it behind my ear. It's in the way."

"Can't you do it?" Haruka says, glancing at the napkin holder.

"No," Rin says, his frown almost a pout as he holds up his burger with his smeared fingers. "My hands are full. And it's my _birthday_."

Haruka considers declining, because there are other people in the restaurant who might find it strange if he were to lean across the table and tuck his friend's hair back. But it _is_ Rin's birthday, and it doesn't feel fair to refuse something so harmless. So he leans forward, takes the bit of hair and tucks it behind Rin's right ear – which is warm, and somehow the lightest brush of his finger against it fills him with a fuzzy, breathless feeling.

Rin catches his eye. "Fingers still attached?" he asks, before taking a massive bite of his burger.

Haruka wrinkles his nose, unamused. But he's glad Rin is able to act so normal, because it makes things easier for him – he can reign in the breathlessness and keep on functioning. He's kissed Rin now, but they can also just be how they've always been. Which is what, exactly?

Classmates, friends, rivals, and now…friends who kiss each other. A part of him thinks they're destined to be on a never-ending roller coaster, relationship never settling on one dynamic for too long. Though he hopes that's no longer the case. He likes where they are now.

And then, the thought coming suddenly and making him feel like an idiot for not saying it earlier, he blurts, "Happy birthday."

Rin is wiping ketchup from the corner of his mouth with his wrist, but he breaks into a smile. "Thanks," he says, and it's soft and adoring and Haruka is once again assaulted with that breathless feeling.

They're halfway back up the stairs to his house when Rin's fingers slip into his, not a mere brush and clearly not on accident. Haruka's hand twitches but he doesn't pull away, and when he glances over Rin is looking at him questioningly, as though asking permission.

Haruka gives one jerky nod and looks away, ears burning, and Rin's hand takes his a bit more firmly. Their fingers don't lace but their palms are warm together, and he can feel every little movement of Rin's fingers.

And as flustered as he is, a small part of him – probably the part that is Rin's doing – wants to mention that Rin's hands aren't shaking nearly as much now as they had been two days ago. But his house is in view and there are more important things to do.

He slips his free hand into his pocket, around the metal tin, making up his mind and steeling himself all at once.

Years ago, before Rin left for Australia, he would bring his deck of Pokémon cards to school sometimes. He'd never spoken of the hobby before he brought them the first time, but before long he had established a sort of mini club during lunch times. Boys and a few girls started bringing their own decks to school, to challenge each other and to trade.

_"C'mon Nanase, you should join in!"_ Rin had told him on more than one occasion once the teacher had released them for lunch, to which Haruka would respond with a bemused frown and an _"I don't play Pokémon."_

So of course Rin had offered to give Haruka some of his cards, and of course Haruka had refused, because back then Rin had been a total pain and Haruka had no interest in playing dumb card games when he could be in the pool. But Rin had brought a magazine to class one day, after 'Nanase' had become 'Haru' and Haruka had grudgingly started to look forward to the ways Rin would turn his days upside down.

_"This one's my favorite,"_ Rin had said wistfully, pointing at a thing called a Gyarados on one of the pages. It was a big and blue and had fins, and a gaping jaw that made it look awfully unfriendly – funny how in years to come Haruka would find it to look a lot more like Rin than he had back then.

_"I've been trying to get this card,"_ Rin had gone on, flipping to a dog-eared page and pointing to a trading card called 'Shiny Gyarados' – the same angry thing on a metallic background. _"But it's super rare and Mom will only buy me cards every couple weeks, and it's never in the packs."_He had sighed, chin sinking onto the tabletop. _"If I could get only one thing for my birthday, it'd be this."_

_"Why do you like that one so much?"_ Haruka had asked, curious despite himself.

Rin had perked up. _"'Cause he's super strong and has some of the best attacks, and he can swim_and _fly. And look at how cool he looks!"_

Haruka didn't think it looked very cool._"When's your birthday?"_he had asked.

_"The second. Why? Gonna get it for me?"_

_"No."_

And he hadn't. Hadn't even tried. For some reason he never forgot about it, though.

"Rin," he says, when they turn down the path to his front door. Beyond this his voice falters, and the only sound is their feet tracking over packed-down snow. Rin gives his hand a squeeze.

"What?"

They stop in front of the door. Rin looks at him curiously, patiently, which only makes Haruka feel more nervous. He's never felt like a bigger idiot, to be honest, and is second guessing every reason he thought giving Rin this card would be a good idea. A piece of paper, that's all it is.

"What?" Rin says again, and he's starting to look distinctly nervous. His hand goes slack in Haruka's, which makes Haruka panic for a whole other reason.

"I have something to give you," he says quickly, tightening his hold on Rin's hand.

Rin's eyebrows go up. "Okay," he says cautiously.

Haruka takes what is meant to be a calming breath, but it doesn't make him feel calm at all. He takes out the tin, holds it out to Rin. "I got it before you told me not to get you anything," he says, knowing his cheeks are red and wishing he could escape inside.

Rin takes it, expression going from worried to curios. He lets go of Haruka's hand so he can open the lid, and then his eyes widen. He looks at Haruka in shock. The tin lid slips from his fingers and falls to the ground.

"Haru," he says, and his voice comes out like it's blocked by something.

"It's not a very good present," Haruka says, tearing his gaze away. "I just got the idea, and used Makoto's computer to look for it, and –"

"You _remembered_?"

Haruka meets Rin's eyes again. Nods.

"All this time? You actually remembered?"

"Yeah," Haruka says, a bit defensively. He knows he never used to be the most invested in his friendships, but he doesn't need Rin to rub it in. Especially not now, when he's clearly mortified.

Rin takes the card carefully out of the tin, looks at it like it's something precious. "Haru," he says again, and there's a waver in his voice now. He looks from the card to Haruka, and Haruka has just enough time to see the quiver in Rin's lips before Rin's arms are around him. Rin makes a squeaky sound, then lets out a shuddering exhale that Haruka's heard time enough to know what's coming.

"Don't cry," he says in alarm, hands hovering a few inches from Rin's back.

"Shut up, I can't just turn them off," Rin chokes into his shoulder. His arms wrap tighter, wrists digging into Haruka's shoulder blades, but instead of hurting or making it difficult to breathe, it makes Haruka feel like he's somehow the most necessary person in the world. He hugs Rin back, and Rin tries to talk, words coming haltingly.

"You have no idea – how much – I used to want this card."

"I had an idea."

Rin's laugh is in shambles, and then he's outright sobbing. He doesn't say anything for a while, not until he's finally managed to reign in the last of his sniffles. Then he gives a long, worn out sigh. "Can't believe you actually paid attention."

"You kind of forced me to pay attention to you. You still do."

Another shaky laugh. Rin nuzzles into Haruka's scarf. "Thank you," he says.

They're standing in plain sight if anyone were to walk by, but Haruka's stopped worrying about that. The alarm has faded, leaving affection in its wake, and a touch of that former nervousness. "It's not…dumb, is it?"

Rin shakes his head. "No. It's the best present I've ever gotten."

Haruka has to snort quietly at this.

"Seriously," Rin says. "Hands down best present. God, you scared me so bad though when you weren't saying anything. I thought…" His voice starts to choke up again.

"Sorry," Haruka says. "I'm sorry. I was just worried. I'm not good at getting presents."

"Liar," Rin says. His voice is starting to sound heavy, that after-crying fatigue. "I'm gonna frame this or something."

Haruka smiles, feels himself relax completely in Rin's arms. He has to ask eventually, though:

"Are you ever going to let go of me?"

Rin's lips brush against his cheek, so quickly he doesn't even have time to blink before Rin's nuzzling back into his scarf.

"In a bit," Rin says, and Haruka thinks that sounds all right.


End file.
